sleep-itisprecioustome

Sleep - it is precious to me. After the hours of midnight, a transformation takes place... the easy-going, sometimes carefree JT ceases to exist, and is possessed by an undead construct of unimaginable power. If he is awakened, this creature from the ether cannot be bargained with. His soul-searing hatred will not be sated until the foolish mortal who awoke him has been utterly destroyed.

There are a few things I enjoy in life -- the smell of a salty sea-breeze warmly whispering through my window; the sound of a cellophane wrapper being removed from a newly-acquired video game; the sight of foreboding thunderheads brooding on the horizon. Being Awoken at some unholy hour from my hibernation by an unthoughtful roommate loudly playing All American Rejects - "My Paper Heart" is NOT one of them.

It is five minutes past the fifth hour on a Monday. I am awoken by the loud squawking of roommate Jeremy's alarm, usually a forgivable infraction. After the silencing of the alarm, I am greeted by Jeremy's iTunes Playlist, which consists mostly of teen pop-rock of yester-decade (read: Blink182, All American Rejects, possibly Sum41). This wouldn't have irked me so, if the music had been quiet, or actually good (read: Nine Inch Nails).

My eyes blaze open, quickly searching out his location in the dark room. Ah, there he is, basking in his ignorance, seated happily in my computer chair. I silently stare immolation at the back of his head from my vantage point under my covers. I feel the all-too-familiar smoldering rage slowly awaken from the ashes of my rest.

No, not now! I think to myself. While I try to calm the beast within, roommate Jeremy decides that now is the time to turn on the light and crank up the volume.

The rising anger has grown into a numbing cold heat. My body begins to take on the form of Dark Lord JT of the Deep.

One. More. Slip. Silently, I wait.

Completely oblivious to his impending doom, the roommate begins tying the laces to his running shoes. Good. If he just leaves, I'll be able to continue the two hours of sleep he would rob me of. Unfortunately for him, he exits the room, leaving both the light and his music on.

This is the snowflake that begins the avalanche. The beast has awoken, and it hungers for revenge. My initial reaction and first thought is to explode forth in an otherworldly battle rage, burning everything fixed within my searing gaze. No. This is no place for a display of my newly acquired powers. As I exit iTunes to put an end to the audi-torture that is Tyson Ritter's whiny voice.. an idea comes to me. What if I could spread my Corruption into Jeremy's iTunes Playlist?

As if typing some binary chanted hex, my fingers fly to the keyboard and mouse, weapons for war. A quick "Sort by Play Count" reveals the enemy's most precious tunes. A right click and a Show in Windows Explorer, and I have discovered my foe's song treasury. Deleting the songs would be too obvious, and too easy. If I'm not to be discovered, and in order to enjoy my vengeance, a more covert approach is needed.

Opening the first offender in Notepad, I discover that the entire song is written no doubt in some cryptic ancient language long forgotten. It matters not, for one doesn't need to understand a message before ruining it. A character not unlike the English 'u' catches my eye, the Greek symbol 'µ'. I immediately search the entire file for the character 'µ' and replace several of them with the letter 'u'. After I have done this about 9 or 10 times I close Notepad, saving over the original mp3. Eagerly, I open the newly corrupted song to hear what cursed noises I have conjured. To my delight, the quality of the song 'My Paper Heart' has been permanently defiled.

If one listens to the new Lord JT Remixed version of the song, it sounds as if a thousand disturbed spirits were murmuring in the background of the American Reject's recording studio, which was recorded on a wax cylinder that was recovered from the wreckage of the Titanic. And, if the recording studio was underwater. In the wreckage of the Titanic.